It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
