nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
