May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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