The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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