Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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