Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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