figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
