you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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