no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
