Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
