clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize