so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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