he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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