Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
