I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize