Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
