i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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