I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
