so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just threw up on my dentist
our cab driver is having phone sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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