he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize