how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
