in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
