operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
