So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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