U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i think i just lost a toe
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
