Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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