U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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