Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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