Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
