This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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