Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
