I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
