does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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