I think I am morally bankrupt
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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