I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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