just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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