someone get that fucking seahorse.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
