I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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