Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
