Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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