super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize