soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
