I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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