I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize