The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
