He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Bring me that man meat
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
