I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
