wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
