I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
