You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
