try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
