i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
