One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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