I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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