just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
