Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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