Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
