I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
