I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
