Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
