I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i drank out of a bidet.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
