I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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