Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
