HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
