you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
