she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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