Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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